What lies beneath
by SophieU
Summary: Sometimes you need someone else to open your eyes so you see what's important. A little story to continue 3x14.


**I don't own any of the characters.**

* * *

The only thing on her mind was "I did it again". After the shock subsided realization dawned. It made her wish that she could run to him. But instead of going to him earlier she decided to go to Molly's with Olivia. Actually it was Olivia who brought up Jay when she asked her if she had spoken to her partner. Why didn't she think about it the first place? She doesn't know why she didn't but what she does know is that she has to find him as soon as possible.

She stood from the stool she occupied.

She looked at Olivia and said "Liv I'm glad I had that talk with you it really helped but I have to go." She put her jacket on and grabbed her keys.

"No worries I wanted to head out anyway and I'm glad you came to me. Believe me it's so helpful to have someone who understands."

"Yeah you're right but now I have to speak to someone else. Come on let's go. Can I drop you off anywhere?"

Liv just nodded her head no and with that the two women left the bar. They said their goodbyes and they walked in different directions.

Erin got in her car and before she knew it she was in front of his door. For one second she thought about using her key but then she decided not to. She knocked on the door ever so softly she was not sure if he would hear it. A few moments later the door opened and he was there dressed in sweatpants and a hoodie. One of her favorites she would always wear when they were in the safety of their apartments.

He just looked at her without saying anything.

She took a step forward so they were almost standing chest to chest.

"Hey". That's all she is able to say. He seems obvious to why she was there so she placed her hand on his chest. They stood like that for a few moments before he turned around and walked back in his apartment leaving her standing in the doorway. She followed him and closed the door before she walked in the kitchen and grabbed a beer out of his fridge. He was already sitting on the couch when she came out of the kitchen.

When she sat down beside him her hope he would start the conversation was gone because he just starred at the TV. Some random game was on and she could tell he wasn't really paying attention.

"Who is playing?" She tried to get him to talk to her. Instead of saying anything he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Jay" She knows for sure he heard her but he doesn't look at her or even acknowledge her talking. Erin decided it she has to start talking or they would just sit here forever.

"I'm so sorry for what happened today. I didn't mean to break my promise. I'm so, so sorry."

Jay turned his gaze from the floor to her but he didn't look her in the eyes. She took his chin in her hand and tiled his head up so he had to look her in the eyes. "I don't say that because I have to because I'm pretty sure you already know it. And I know I should have waited for backup but in that moment I couldn't wait any longer. All the stuff he had done was constantly replaying in my head."

He was really looking at her for the first time since she stepped in to his apartment. The pain in his eyes was evident. They could always see every emotion they felt in each other's eyes and she knew it hurt him without even looking in his. "It didn't even have to be me or any one from Intelligence. It could've been some rookie. At least someone would've by your side."

She could tell it was hard for him to say that. In that moment she noticed that something beside the pain was in his ocean blue eyes. Anger. Is he angry at her? Probably. "I know that." She stroked his jaw line with one hand while her other hand held his hand. She knew she had to explain it he probably already knew all of what she would say but she didn't know what else to say. "I just felt like I had to do it on my own and I felt like I had to do it because it shouldn't end any other way. My hatred and disgust for this man is nothing new and he was really good in playing with my mind." She didn't once break their gaze while she was talking. "In this moment the only thing I could think of was Nadia laying in this grave staring up at us with unblinking eyes. Everything he did to her and to every other woman he tortured how he held his own sister captive in my apartment. In my Bedroom it made me want to end his life with my bare hands. I hope you can forgive me because I really hope you understand it."

Jay just stared at her for a few moments then he suddenly jumped up. "I'm gonna go running." Was everything he said before he disappeared out of the apartment.

Unable to process what just had happened she found herself to be utterly confused. Erin was sure that he would understand it and she hoped he could forgive her but she wasn't sure anymore.

Jay was besides Hank the only person she could open up to and she knew the reason for that was that he always seemed to understand. He didn't need to experience the same stuff she did but he went through so many things himself that he truly knows what pain feels like.

At least she thought he would understand her this time. She knew she must've hurt him and disappointed him but she didn't expect him to react like this. She should've known. Nobody truly understands her so she should just stop trying to find someone.

After what felt like hours but probably been just minutes she got up from the couch and took the empty beer bottle to the sink. Then she debated about staying or going home.

HOME.

The home Yates broke in to and held his sister captive. The home she once shared with Nadia until Yates came into their lives. Could she ever consider that her home again? Maybe but not right now. No, going home was no possibility. But staying wasn't one either. She doesn't want to be here any longer and definitely not when he comes back.

Her instinct kicked in and all she wanted to do was run. Where to? That didn't matter she just wanted to be somewhere that wasn't Chicago.

She grabbed her coat and made her way to the door but then she came across something she hadn't seen when she came earlier. It was a picture hanging on the wall. A picture of them but she didn't know that it existed and she knew why. They weren't looking at the camera they were looking at each other smiling like cherish cats. Erin had her hand on his face and it looked like she was wiping something away. She remembered that night they went out for a Hawks game with will and going for pizza after it was over. Jay had sauce all over his cheek so she cleaned it of course after making fun of him for being such a klutz. Will must've taken a picture of them and send it to his brother.

And all of a sudden Erin couldn't move she found herself smiling at the thought of that evening and how they had spent the rest of it in her apartment but just the two of them. No, running was no option and she was furious that she had even considered it.

She needed to explain it to him and get him to really talk to her. She was not ready to give it up just now but she couldn't do it today. The exhaustion of the last days was speeding up to her and this situation drained what felt like the tiny bit energy she had left out .

She knew there was one place she would always consider a home no matter what was going on in her life. The house she lived in for so long the one she learned what a being a part of a real family looks and feels like.

She walked out of Jay's apartment down the steps in the hall and to her car. Erin knew that Hank would be mad at her too. He is her Boss and she did the exact opposite of what he told her. But Hank knows her and he was mad at her almost every month when she was a teenager so with him it was nothing she didn't know how to handle.

While she drove through the cold Chicago night she felt so alone for the first time since her bender. It wasn't the same feeling she  
had the last time there was no urge to drink or take any drug. No guilt. No she felt no guilt for killing Yates she felt guilty for hurting Jay. Even though her first thought was running. But it was nothing compared to how guilty even responsible and lonely she felt because of what happened to Nadia.

The rest of her drive she thought about Nadia and what a great cop she would have been but when she arrived at Hanks house she decided that thinking about her wouldn't make this better so she tried her best to stop.

When she rang the Bell at Hanks house and suited herself for what was to come when he opens it. He didn't say much to her at the district but it was visible that he was pissed.

Before she could give it more thoughts Hank opened the door and just looked at her. Even after so many years she still wasn't able to read his expression. She knew he was disappointed but despite that she wasn't sure what to expect from him. They just stood there for a few moments before he interrupted their starring contest. "Are you planning on staying out there forever? Or are you going to come in?"

Well she didn't know what she thought he would say but it was definitely not this. She was grateful he made the first move and took it without hesitation.

The warmth hit her as soon as she stepped in to the house. She waited for Hank to shut the door. He turned around and leaned against the door and looked at her with his usual emotionless expression. She just stood there and starred at the pictures of her chosen family. Camille, Hank, Justin they were her Family. God how she missed having family dinners on Sunday they tried to keep it up after Camille died but it never really worked out.

Camille.

She would have known how to handle this she always had the right words.

"I really wish Camille would be here right now I could use her advice."

Hank just nodded and smiled as he saw that she was looking at one of the frames. Then he looked at her. "What about Benson she told me she talked to you?"

"She was helpful and it was nice to talk to someone who understands but I need a Camille speech right now!"

Voight studied her and then just made his way to the kitchen. For a moment she stayed in the hallway and thought if she should leave maybe that was a bad idea after all. Hanks gruff interrupted her thoughts "Are you coming kiddo?"

So she took her coat of and made her way to the kitchen. Hank was sitting at the table two cups of steaming coffee in front of him. She took the invitation gratefully.

Hank has this habit where he just stares blankly at his opponent before speaking.

"I feel like there is more bothering you than I know of." He said after a few minutes of silence. When she doesn't answer he takes it as a yes.

"Kid I know you but I can't actually read your mind so spit out why you came here. Not that you aren't welcomed and you know that. I just didn't expect you to come here tonight."

Erin thought about telling Hank about the conversation she had with Jay but she decided to start with something else.

"I'm sorry!"

"For?"

"Being stubborn, for putting myself in danger, for disobeying you order I guess I should apologize for being me."

Hank nodded his head but didn't say anything at first he just looked out of the window but Erin knew he had to keep himself together.

She wasn't sure if the only reason was his anger because of her going against his order or if there was more to it. She couldn't really think about anything other than anger.

"No need to apologize for being yourself it just who you are. I thought I taught you, you should never apologize for who you are."

By the way he was talking Erin new there was more he needed to say.

"The disobeying my rules part is definitely something we need to work on. I'm still your boss so you gotta listen to me even if you don't think it would work or like my orders. And just for the record I know you since 15 years so it's great that you finally admit being stubborn."

"That's all you gonna say? No shouting at me for the whole thing?"

Hank looked at her with an expression she wasn't sure about. It was something between amusement, anger and, and …

Erin couldn't pinpoint it. As soon as he noticed her studying his face he changed the subject.

"What else is going on?" Oh right he already knew that there was more.

"It's nothing really I just felt alone and couldn't go to my apartment." She tried to play it off she really didn't want to discuss her relationship with the one person who forbid it in the beginning.

"You're a horrible liar Erin" Hank said with smirk.

"I'm not lying!"

"Do I need to bust Halstead's balls?" She could sense that he got tenser while asking the question.

Erin let out a defeated sigh and now it was her turn to just look out of the window.

"You told me you needed a Camille speech so come on let's see if I can get close to it."

"First of all you don't need to bust his balls he isn't the one who did something. Maybe you need to bust mine."

Hank's shoulders looked less tense after that statement and she took a mental note that she shouldn't tell him in case something would happen between her and Jay. She doesn't want him to disappear under mysterious circumstances.

She thought about Jay's reaction and everything they said and for the first time since their talk she realized that she wasn't sure why he left so abruptly. "I don't know."

"What's that's supposed to mean?" Hank was visibly confused by Erin's behavior. He knew something was up and it had to do with Halstead and probably with what happened today. He was sure that Jay would be affected by Erin's behavior; he saw it before he left the district. What he didn't know was it what way it affected him but the fact that Erin was here indicated that it must had affected Halstead more than he thought. He had never seen her that lost before at least not because of a guy.

"He just didn't react the way I thought he would." What did she think how he would react?

"Erin you went in without backup what by the way he usually is, meeting a serial killer who was playing with you and wanting to get to you since the day your path crossed. Who murdered your best friend and was convicted. Just to escape prison a few months later and kill more people. But most of all you had no idea what could've happened. It could've been a trap and he could've blown you up the moment you walked into that house." Hank watched her during his summary of this case and saw her face going from annoyance, to anger and grief and back to annoyance.

"He wouldn't have blown me up that wasn't his goal and we knew it more important I knew it. Despite that when did you stop believing I can do my job and defend myself? I think I've proved that I can."

Hank just laughed at her but it wasn't laughter about something funny more like he was making fun of her.

"That's not what I was trying to indicate I know that you can do your job and I never doubted that. But what did you think how the team and especially Halstead your partner and whatever you two prefer to call that thing you've going on would react?"

"Well I thought you would leave me in the cage for a little bit to make sure I don't escape again. While I'm in there you would scream at me for disobeying you rules and all that stuff." She smirked at that and he did, too. "That's what I imagined to expect from you so I guess my imagination isn't really something I should rely on. I definitely knew that Jay would be angry and hurt because after what happened with the rape/robbery case a few weeks ago I promised him to never go in without backup. But I didn't expect him to run out of his apartment after I tried to apologize!" Erin rambled and before she knew he saw Hank raising his eyebrow at her.

"You want to know what I think Camille would tell you?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

Erin kept looking out of the Window nodding.

"She would go all; Honey sure he is angry and hurt because you did what he asked you not to. He has all right to feel like that and I bet you know that already. After what happened or almost happened the last time you went in without backup everyone would feel that way. He is your partner you two are supposed to protect each other on and off duty but he can't protect you when he isn't with you. What I think you forgot is that he cares about you more than just a partner because of the nature of your relationship. He worries about you so when he could barely get to you on time last time he was already worried so much. How do you think he felt this time when you knowingly put yourself in danger and him knowing what effect Yates had on you? He has serious, deep feelings for you everyone knows it and it's clearly visible." By the end of the speech he gave her Erin was tearing up. God how she missed Camille she just always knew what was going on and now she knew that Voight himself did, too. Sure she always knew he could look right through people but she never actually thought he would be interested in this enough to notice the way Jay felt.

Before she could say anything he stopped her. "I'm not done yet. I don't know where he is right now but you sure as hell should go find him and talk to him. The usual Lindsay apology isn't gonna work you need to convince him that you're gonna keep the promise from now on. Don't hide from your feeling honey it's not gonna end well and don't worry about Hank he is just frustrated that you still the only one who knows how to talk back." And with that last statement both had to laugh hard.

Erin was the first one to speak up "That was definitely a good try you missed some things Camille would have added here and there but it wasn't bad."

"Well I learned from the best." He said with a smirk. "But seriously you should do talk to him being here is not gonna help." He said as he looked her in the eyes and she knew by the look on his face that he really wanted her to get things straight with Jay.

She knew she should go and look for him but right know she felt unable to leave. So she tried to change the subject once again.

"Are you trying to get rid of me? Did I interrupt something when I came here? Is someone here?"

For one second she thought he blushed slightly but the next one it faded.

"No you didn't interrupt anything I was talking on the phone but ended the call a while before you came."

The way he let out all the details of who he talked to made her curious and she wanted to know if her suspicion was right.

"How is that mysterious person you talked to? Maybe someone I know?" She wanted to give him a chance to tell her if he wanted to. This time he definitely blushed for a few moments. "No I don't think so."

Erin just smirked at him she knew exactly who she talked to. Olivia they always call each other and they think nobody knows it but they did, all of them. His and her team and they liked the idea of them together but they never spoke to them about it.

For a moment she thought about telling him that she would be happy for him if he would he would explore his relationship with Benson but her thoughts where interrupted by a knock on the door.

They looked at each other before Hank went to open the door whilst Erin put their empty cups in the sink and rinsed them. She didn't expect Hank to call for her. She was even more surprised to see Jay standing awkwardly in the doorframe.

"Hey" he spoke up.

"Hey what are you doing here?" She asked surprised as they starred in each other's eyes.

"When I came back you were gone and I figured you wouldn't go to your apartment. So I thought maybe you would've come here and I was right."

By that point she wasn't looking at Jay anymore instead she looked at Hank. He just nodded. "Well I enjoyed your company kiddo but now there is a hockey game I need to watch and a beer with my name on it so see ya." With that he gave her arm a squeeze and left them alone in his hallway.

This time Erin spoke first "Let's get outta here. You wanna grab something to eat I don't know what was the last time I ate a real meal." She laughed and tried to lighten their moods. She put her coat on and they left the house.

"Sure I'm starving but we don't need to go anywhere I could cook something. I want you to eat something home cooked that's not takeout or came out of the vending machine. " There he was standing in front of her always the perfect gentleman. He would put her need in front of his own all the time. He knew she probably didn't eat anything good the last few days and wanted to take care of that.

She didn't know how she deserved him but someone truly believed that she did.

"That sound amazing I think I feel even hungrier because I know it's gonna be something you made."

When she got in her car she notice that he did to and that he still was in his running gear. "Did you walk here?"

He looked at her and then down his body "Yeah I did. I didn't run long because I wanted to come back and apologize but when I came back you weren't there I wasn't in the mood to drive."

Erin just looked at him completely stunned it was so cold today she would have frozen to death if she would've gone running. She didn't understand how he could manage to walk all the way from his apartment to Voight's house in his way too thin running gear.

"You're unbelievable."

He was quick to response "No I'm just always extremely hot." of course he didn't talk about his body temperature only and she knew it by the look he gave her.

She just shook her head at him. The rest of their way was quite but it wasn't uncomfortable.

As they walked into his apartment he went straight to the kitchen. "How do you feel about pasta with salmon?"

The sound of that made her stomach growl which he took as an answer so he started to busy himself.

"You can go take a shower while I make food if you want to." He said looking up at her.

She looked at him thankful and started to walk to the bathroom before she decided that she wanted to do something else first so she walked back in the kitchen. Jay looked up but before he could question her she had her arms wrapped around him and her face buried in his chest. He automatically did the same but his face was buried in her hair. They stayed like this for a little bit because who were they kidding they both really needed this. But soon enough their moment ended because the Pasta water started to boil.

* * *

After she showered and they ate in silence they sat on the couch once again. Neither really sure how to start this conversation but Erin knew that she had to speak first.

"I know I said it earlier and I really mean it when I say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for breaking my promise, for letting you down, for shutting you out, for hurting you. It won't happen again. Yates… he just… he got under my skin and after everything I thing I needed to get closure. I know that that was the wrong way to get it but I couldn't think straight and I also know that a little thinking could've been good."

After she finished she looked up and looked him straight in his beautiful blue eyes and once again his eyes betrayed him because they held all the emotions in them.

"You know I keep telling myself she is fine everything is okay nothing happened. But there is always a voice in my head saying _this time_. That's why I asked you to make that promise in the first place. The only difference is that last time you didn't know you were in danger until it was too late and this time you didn't know what to expect and you still went to meet a convicted serial killer.

And there is the voice saying everything is alright this time but what if the next time you don't get so lucky?"

She could see how much he had to struggle to get these words out and it made her feel so angry with herself. She should've thought about his feelings and she mentally kicked herself for being the person that made him seem so vulnerable.

"I know it's irrational to want to be able to protect you every minute of the day especially in our job but I still do. It might be selfish but I don't think I could go on if I'd lost you or if something would happen to you and I could've prevented it. And hell I wanted to prevent it today I wanted to prevent you from going in without backup, from being alone. But most importantly I want you to want my help, our teams help and I need you to know that you're not alone. I'm here, the team is here and we all want to help you because you helped all of us at some point. You help me every day and I need you to know that my day always gets better with every time that I see you."

He needed to break eye contact to compose himself so he starred at their intertwined hands. She gave his hands a squeeze to signalize him to look at her and he did.

"Babe I can't promise you that I'm never gonna be in a dangerous situation again because it's kind of in the job prescription." She clearly tried to loosen him up but when he didn't laugh she continued. "And you don't have to tell me about wanting to protect one another because as much as I don't want it to be true but I think I wouldn't be here right now when it wasn't because I wanted to protect you. Let's be honest I think I wouldn't have come back and when you would've died because of Keyes I definitely would've lost it all together." Now it was her turn to look at their hands instead of his eyes. Still ashamed of her bender. "Jay you don't know how much you mean to me I know I never told you and I don't even have words for it. And even the words I know I could say aren't enough. So believe me when I say sorry is not enough to show you how truly bad I feel for being so irresponsible."

For a few moments they just looked deep in to each other's eyes.

Erin knew there was more to his behavior than he let her believe and she was determined to find out what it is. She slowly reached over and stroked his jaw he then pulled her head towards him and connected their lips in a slow and passionate kiss. When they broke apart something came to her mind and she was sure it would get him to open up.

"Do you remember the conversation we had when I let you drive?" She asked with a little smile on her face when she thought about the conversation that led to that moment.

"There is no way I would ever forget any detail about the day you let me drive." He was unsure where she was going with this because it all happened after Nadia and during her downward spiral and that wasn't really a happy topic.

"Well Nadia said more about you and me in that conversation."

She could sense his confusion so she carried on with her story. "It was one night after we went out to get a few drinks after shift and I might have been a little _tipsy_ when I came home around midnight."

Jay had to laugh because of the way she emphasized the word tipsy and then he raised his eyebrows at her. Now it was her turn to laugh and she spoke up again.

"Okay I was more drunk than tipsy but that doesn't really matter. Nadia was still awake when I came home in fact she stood in her doorframe and watch me every move. I got almost scared to death when she suddenly spoke because I didn't see her."

They both had to laugh at that because Nadia always did stuff like that.

After a minute Erin grew serious again.

Thinking of moments like that made her miss Nadia so much. This wound was yanked open further before it had even healed and it was still pretty hard for her.

Jay could see that it took a toll on her to talk about this so he brought their intertwined hands to his lips and gave hers a kiss. When she looked at him and that look could speak more than a thousand words. It meant that he can understand that it is hard to loose close friends, he himself lost a lot of them overseas. When someone would understand how she felt than it was him.

She cleared her throat from the lump that seemed to be forming there. "She just looked at me and said _Did you have fun with Jay?._ I know that's nothing specialbut she didn't know that we went for drinks. So I stood there completely dumfounded and asked why she thought I had been with you."

She had to smirk as she thought back to her friends' words. "She said _You have that look on your face you always get when you two spent time together the look of complete joy and happiness. It suits you."_

"I totally tried to come up with an alternative explanation but I couldn't so I just gave in and that's how we ended up talking about the driving."

At this point Jay was smiling "How come you never told me?" She looked at the ceiling for a moment and tried to compose her emotions thinking about Nadia has brought up . She never thought about telling him before and she honestly had no answer for his question so she shrugged her shoulders. But then she knew why she had remembered that part just now.

"She was right and came to know that over the last months. This makes me so happy and I enjoy my time with you more than with anyone else. You make me laugh and sometimes I would like to strangle you but maybe for the first time in my life I'm genuinely happy with almost every aspect of my life."

Jay smiled at her and leaned in to crash his lips on her to show her that he felt the same. They stayed like that savoring each other's taste and closeness until they were out of breath and forced to part.

He settled back against the cushions and she laid her head on his shoulder. All cuddled up a comfortable silence fell over them. After a while Jay began to shift in his seat and Erin knew he still had something on his mind that was bothering him.

"Jay?" she was sure she could lure it out of him after all Camille had told her once to never go to sleep with unspoken problems. She said it would lead to preventable frustration and misunderstandings. Erin took that advice by heart at least in her personal life. As for her job sometimes she just hadn't any other chance.

"Mmhh?" he answered briefly.

"I know there is something on your mind can you please tell me what it is you're so fidget it makes me nervous?"

"Nothing really, I was just appreciating this moment here and thanking whoever is watching for it to be this peaceful." He tried to smile at her but his eyes didn't cooperate. So she titled her head to the side and raised her eyebrow at him before she spoke again.

"You seem to forget that I know you pretty well and I want us to talk about whatever it is that's on your mind because it's clearly bothering you."

He looked her in the eyes and saw he determination in them and with that she

knew he had to tell her because she wouldn't let the subject go anytime soon.

Erin could watch his inner battle enfolding right in front of her and she wasn't sure how it was going to end. Then she saw the vulnerability reappearing in his eyes and she just hoped he would not push it away again.

He broke eye contact bore he started to talk.

"All my life I lost people. My Mom, Grandparents and well I guess I never really had my father anyway. Ben Corson. I don't even want to think about how many friends and brothers I lost overseas and after. I never handled it well, my father was probably right I'm too damn emotional. So when I met you and we became partners, I swore to myself that I'm always going to make sure that I don't ever have to stand over your grave. I know for sure that your loss would be 20 times worse than coming back from war and I'm glad that you didn't know me back than because it was really bad. If I thought that I didn't want to live back than I sure as hell don't want to if you would be gone forever." He paused and looked up as both of them had tear filled eyes. It seemed like they just wouldn't stop falling today.

She reached out to take his hand for comfort but he indicated that he needs to finish talking before he allows himself to be comforted.

"So I was so damn glad that Voight made you stay at the district when we went out to go after Yates. I knew that you were save and the fact Mouse was with you made it even easier to go out without you because I trust him with my life and I know he would always make sure to protect yours. When you left to meet with Yates I felt like my world is going to collapse under my feet because for god's sake he almost killed you. I'm sorry for how I reacted earlier but I wasn't mad at you. I know that you will fight with all you have and you know exactly how to defend yourself. You saved my life more than one time. In that moment though I didn't know if you were okay and I got that feeling I had all those months back when you quit. So useless. And that case a few weeks ago is still very present for me because seeing you tied down and that son of a bitch holding a knife to your throat. That picture is probably never going to leave me. I had to push it down as far as I could earlier and keep myself to not even picture what Yates would do if he got his hands on you so I wouldn't end up having a full on panic attack in front of everybody."

She couldn't stand it any longer so she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into her chest because by that time his breath was racked and he was obviously holding back the sobs that tried to escape him. It was her way of showing him he was allowed to let go. So she hold him and took his head in her hand and told him over and over again that she was okay and he doesn't have to be the strong one right now, that she got him.

Right there and then she swore herself to be more considerable of his feelings and let him help her. More importantly to make sure he can be vulnerable around her because she knows she wants to keep this as long as possible. She knew that feeling he had, all too well. He was always the one who kept himself together and it was obvious he would always hold back to make sure she's okay.

They fell asleep like that her holding his head against her chest scratching it. That's how Erin woke up when he was trashing in his sleep because of his nightmares. She'd experienced some of his bad dreams before but they've never been as bad as that night. So she just holds him and told him that she was right there with him and they were alright. She didn't wake him because she did that once and it isn't that smart. He settled after about ten minutes and she didn't get any sleep for the rest of the night since that was the first of seven nightmares.

Erin didn't care though because she would do this for the rest of her life rather than having to life without him.


End file.
